45 Short Funny Quotes Anyone Can Remember

Wonderful funny quotes. Our collection of funny quotes which are short, and easy to remember but still hilarious. Repeat or copy these quotes out to your friends to make them laugh! Share the best funny quotes collection by famous authors and comedians. Join the fun with our funny quote of the day on the web, Facebook, and blogs.

Be cool quotes “It’s good to be happy and tell us how cool your life is and how awesome you are on social media.” what are some happy quotes? Happiness quotes “love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” hottest funny quotes collection of all time. Easy to read a list of the most hilarious phrases ever spoken. Perfect for sharing, blogging, and tweeting

Here are 21 of my favorite short quotes for you to read, remember and retell. Hilarious Quotes and sayings “what can I say… I swear like a sailor & use please & thank you like a saint… I’m complicated.” Funny quotes and sayings “My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.”

Short Funny Quotes

Top 21 Short Funny Quotes Anyone Can Remember “To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

• 1. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. – Mark Twain
• 2. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. – Mahatma Gandhi
• 3. The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. – Confucius
• 4. With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. – Eleanor Roosevelt
• 5. The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. – Alice Walker

Extremely Funny Quotes

6. Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell me about it. – Mary Oliver

• 7. It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages. – Henry Ford
• 8. It’s not the failures that define us so much as how we respond. – Shane Parrish
• 9. To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan but also believe. – Anatole France
• 10. You don’t want to look like your heroes, you want to see like your heroes. – Austin Kleon

Funny Quotes About Me

• 11. Every business is successful exactly to the extent that it does something others cannot. – Peter Thiel
• 12. All we are given are possibilities—to make ourselves one thing or another. – José Ortega Y Gasset
• 13. The best thing I did was choose the right heroes. – Warren Buffett
• 14. I began learning long ago that those who are happiest are those who do the most for others. – Booker T. Washington
• 15. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. – A. A. Milne

Funny Quotes For Friends

• 16. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right. – Ashleigh Brilliant
• 17. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes! – Billy Connolly
• 18. My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. – Caroline Rhea
• 19. A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’ – Claude Pepper
• 20. Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it. – Cullen Hightower

Funny Quotes On Life

• 21. A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. – Don Marquis
• 22. “My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers. Jimmy Carter (US president 1977 to 1981)”
• 23. “I would rather lose you than the argument. Unknown”
• 24. “If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out. Lawrence Ferlinghetti”
• 25. “If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. Steven Wright”

Funny Crazy Quotes

• 26. “Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. Unknown”
• 27. “Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face. Unknown”
• 28 “My brain has too many tabs open. Unknown”
• 29. “Everyone says to follow your dreams, so I went back to bed. Unknown”
• 30. “Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it. Unknown”

Funny Quotes And Images

• “I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright”
• “Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish proverb”
• “Don’t be so humble – you are not that great. Golda Meir”
• “This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. Oscar Wilde”
• “Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. Bill Murray”
• “Isn’t it great when you have a truly good laugh?”
• “Don’t you have the impression that time stops and you’re 100% in the moment, appreciating it?”
• “With the seriousness and busyness of modern life, it’s too easy to forget the importance and benefits of relaxing, chilling, and having fun with friends.”
• “Most of us, myself included, are always living the next-thing-next-thing-next-thing, without stopping.”
• “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain”
• “All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain”
• “There are two rules in life: 1) Never give out all the information. Unknown”
• “Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion. Tina Fey”
• “If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower. Mitch Hedberg”
• “You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music. Jim Carrey (wikipedia.org)”
• “We’re not kissing. We’re feeding each other like baby birds. Ryan Reynolds”
• “What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’? Unknown”
• “Not texting back is only ok when I do it. Unknown”
• “I wrote a few children’s books… not on purpose. Steven Wright”
• “When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield”
• “Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2000 of something. Mitch Hedberg”
• “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Unknown”

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Funny pictures with quotes

Looking for the best funny quotes pictures, photos & images? BoomSumo’s pictures can be used on Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, Twitter, and blogs. Best Funny Quotes With Images For a laugh. Strap yourselves in tight because the best funny pictures of today’s Internet are gonna be quite the ride. This kid in the first hilarious photo knows exactly what I’m talking about. – Funny is one of the most interesting feelings in this world.