30 Funny Quotes About Life to Make You Laugh

Funny quotes about life. One of the best things to do to improve your health is to laugh often. Improve your mood by reading these quotes about all the things life has to offer.

1. “Being lucky takes hard work”

2. “Childhood injuries: Fell off my bike fell out of a tree twisted my ankle Adult injuries: Slept wrong sat down too long sneezed too hard”

3. “Let’s face it – some people drain the nice right out of you.”

4. “Nope…..still don’t care to try again tomorrow”

5. “Never blame anyone in your life. Good people give you happiness. Bad people give you experience. The worst people give you a lesson. And best people give you memories.”

6. “Just because I am not talking doesn’t mean I’m in a bad mood. Sometimes, I just like being quiet.”

7. “Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.”

8. “Stressed spelled backward is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!”

9. “I know the voices aren’t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas”

10. “In my defense, I was left unsupervised.”

11. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.”

12. “Never regret being a good person to the wrong people.”

13. “What you allow is what will continue”

14. “Dear life could you at least start using lubricant?”

15. “I hate that moment when you’re tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed, your body is like just kidding..”

16. “Your heart knows the way. Run in that direction”

17. “Every family has one weird relative. If you don’t know who it is, then it’s probably you.”

18. “The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.”

19. “I really do try to see the best in people. But seriously. Some of you fuckers are making it so hard.”

20. “An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough”

21. “No, I checked my receipt. I didn’t buy any of your bullshit.”

22. “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

23. “wish I could invoice people for wasting my time”

24. “Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.”

25. “I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”

26. “If you love someone, set them on fire, If they… no wait, is that right? Oh shit…be right back!”

27. “I’m at the point in parenting where “What did I just say?!” could either be a threat or a genuine question”

28. “My teacher pointed a ruler at me & said, “At the end of this ruler is an idiot.” I got detention for asking “Which end?”

29. “Sweetie, I’m gonna need you to put those few remaining brain cells together and work with me here, okay?”

30. “I always give 100% at work: 12% Monday 23% Tuesday 40% Wednesday 20% Thursday 5% Friday”