Here you will find over 50 sarcastic quotes for any occasion and our Top 3 funny sayings for sarcasm lovers. Top 50 Best Sarcastic Quotes And Funny Sarcasm Sayings Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until their…
Sarcastic Quotes and Sayings: Looking for the best sarcastic quotes? We’ve compiled a list of top 50 funny sarcastic sayings and awesome quotes about sarcasm.
Sarcastic Quotes
#1. A bad attitude is like a flat tire, you can’t get very far until you change it.”
#2. Sometimes you just have to accept that some people are shitty humans and stop trying to see the good that isn’t there.”
#3. Don’t ask me why I’m treating you cold, I’m not. I just quit trying and expecting. I’m tired of getting my hopes up and being disappointed.”
#4. If somone truly loves you, they won’t make you feel like you need to constantly fight for their attention.”
#5. Bitch please, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.”
Sarcastic Quotes Humor
#6. When someone judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs.”
#7. Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care.”
#8. I can’t control your behavior; nor do I want that burden… but I will not apologize for refusing to be disrespected, to be lied to, or to be mistreated. I have standards; step up or step out.”
#9. You don’t need to waste your time on someone who only wants you around when it fits their needs.”
#10. I am fiji water u are toilet water.”
Sarcastic Quotes About Life
#11. A lot of walking away will do your life good. Walk away from arguments that lead you to anger and nowhere. Walk away from people who deliberately put you down. Walk away from the practice of pleasing people who choose to never see your worth. Walk away from any thought that undermines your peace of mind. Walk away from judgmental people, they do not know the struggle you are facing and what you have been through. Walk away from your mistakes and fears, they do not determine your fate. The more you walk away from things that poison your soul, the healthier your life will be.”
#12. #you forgive people simply because you still want them in your life.””
#13. You can’t force them to love you or want you, but one day you’ll make them realize what they lost.”
#14. Everyone deserves second chances, but not for the same mistake.”
#15. Love can come in strange disguises someday I’ll tell my children. #you don’t love me!” how many times have your kids laid that one on you? And how many times have you, as a parent, resisted the urge to tell them how much?. Someday, when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother, I’ll tell them. I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, with whom, and what time you would get home. I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover your hand picked friend was a creep. I loved you enough to make you return a milky way with a bite out of it to a drugstore and confess, #I stole this.” I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your bedroom, a job that would have taken me 15 mintues. I loved you enough to not make excuses for your lack of respect or your bed manners. I loved you enough to ignore #What every other mother” did. I loved you enough to figure you would lie about the party being chaperoned but forgive you for it… after discovering I was right. I loved you enough to let you stumble, fall and fail so that you could learn to stand alone. I loved you enough to accept you for what you are, not what I wanted you to be. But most of all, I loved you enough to say no when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all.”
Sarcastic Quotes About Love
#16. It’s just too late… she doesn’t need you anymore and she no longer misses you. And it’s all because you never made her a priority. You took for granted that she would always be there, waiting for you to serve her the scarps of your time. It’s funny, because as she waited for you to realize what you had… she finally realized that she didn’t need what you were offering.”
#17. It’s better to break your own heart by leaving, rather than having that person break your heart every day you’re with them.”
#18. Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
#19. #Real men stay faithful. They don’t have time to look for another woman because they’re too busy looking for new ways to love their own.””
#20. You have no idea how worthless you made me feel.”
Further Reading: Top 40 Funny Witty Quotes
Sarcastic Quotes Of The Day
#21. Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.”
#22. Be careful how far you push me away, I may end up liking it there.”
#23. If you stumble, make it part of the dance.”
#24. Don’t judge my choices if you don’t understand my reasons.”
#25. Good morning world! your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.”
Sarcastic Quotes About Fake People
#26. Patience: What you have when there are too many witnesses.”
#27. I won’t beg for your time and attention any more. The more you ignore me, the more I will get used to being ignored. If you stop calling me, I will stop waiting for your calls. If you stop sending me text messages, I will get rid of my hapit of checking my phone all day. The more you stay away from me, the more I will adapt to staying away from you. One day I will learn to live without you and move on.”
#28. Enough is enough. Seriously, be strong and know when enough is enough. Take your stand, speak up and refuse to let others hurt you. Throughout your lifetime some people will discredit you, disrespect you and treat you poorly for no apparent reason at all. Don’t consume yourself with trying to change them or win their approval. And don’t make any space in your heart to hate them. You don’t have control over what others think about you, but you do have control over how you decide to internalize their opinions. Leave them to their own judgements. Let people love you for who you are, and not for who they want you to be. Or let them walk away if they choose. They can’t harm you either way; it’s their understanding that is faulty, not yours.”
#29. I refuse to apologize for being a bitch. No one has ever apologized to me for treating me like shit and bringing the bitch out in me.”
Best Sarcastic Quotes
#30. Everyone wants the truth but no one wants to be honest.”
#31. I’m sorry, what language are you speaking? It sounds like bullshit.”
#32. #please, my phone battery last longer than your relationships.”
Further Reading: 38 Funny Quotes Laughing So Hard
#33. No matter how many times a snake sheds it’s skin, it will always be a snake. Remember that before allowing people back into your life.”
#34. I forgive people but that doesn’t mean I accept their behavior or trust them. I forgive them for me, so I can let go and move on with my life.”
#35. Just because some people are fueled by drama doesn’t mean you have to attend the performance.”
Sarcastic Quotes And Sayings
#36. The moment that you start to wonder of you deserve better, you do.”
#37. I heard you’re a player. Nice to meet you, I’m the coach.”
#38. I’m a simple person with a complicated mind.”
Further reading: 39 Cool Funny Quotes Life
#39. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you studpid. I really thought you already knew.”
#40. Never trust a person that has let you down more than 2 times. Once was a warning, twice was a lesson and anything more than that is simply taking advantage.”
Funny Sarcasm Sayings
#41. I didn’t lose a friend, I just realized I never had one.”
#42. I am a nice person. Just don’t push the bitch button.”
#43. I know the voices aren’t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.”
Further reading: 50 Best Funny Minion Quotes & Funny Quotes Life
#44. My smart mouth always gets me in trouble, and if it’s not my mouth, it’s my facial expressions.”
#45. We all know someone who speaks fluent shit.”
Sarcastic Motivational Quotes
#46. Stop asking why they keep doing it and start asking why you keep allowing it.”
#47. I’m proud of my heart. It’s been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken, but somehow still works.”
#48. Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know until you lived through it. Honor your path. Trust your journey. Learn, grow, evolve, become.”
#49. You smell like drama and a headache, please get away from me.”
#50. If I treated you, the way you treated me. You would hate me.”
