Top 40 Funny Witty Quotes

Top 40 Funny Witty Quotes & Witty Sayings: Doesn’t expect the unexpected make the unexpected expected? has its funny moments. Let these funny quotes about life remind you of such times but also you can read between the lines and find the wisdom that they offer.

Cute funny quotes about life “Life is full of surprises. You never know what kind of situation will come up when. Humor is a great stress buster that helps you connect with people. Scroll down for some funny, short quotes on life, which will tickle your funny bone.”

We collected the best Witty Quotes and Sayings about funny thoughts for your daily routine. here are the best 40 cool funny memes and hilarious sayings.

Funny Witty Quotes

1. “I woke up today and spun the wheel of attitude. Yep! It landed on the bitch again!”

2. “If I die, I want my friends to keep updating my status to freak people out.”

3. “Loneliness does not come from being alone but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.”

4. “My life is just like Rihanna’s new song. Work, work, work, and the rest of it, I can’t really understand.”

5. “Have you ever had one of those days when you’re holding a stick and everybody looks like a “pinata”?”

Witty Quotes

6. “Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward rage screams.”

7. “Me: “I’m actually happy right now. Life: “Lol, one sec.”

8. “I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I’m still looking for ideas.”

9. “Anger management When angry with someone, it helps to sit down and think about the problem.”

10. “A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. Albert einstein”

Funny Witty Quotes Sayings

11. “Fighting online is so stupid. I mean, what are you going to do? Busta caps lock on me?”

12. “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”

13. “Sorry for being late. I got caught up in enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.”

14. “When I see a rich, snooty-looking woman in the grocery store, I pretend I need something and say, “Excuse me, do you work here?’ Just to knock them down a notch, I’m sorry for being late. I got caught up in enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.”

15. “That wasn’t very savvy of you.”

Smart Witty Funny Quotes

16. “Hey, I found your nose. It was my business.”

17. “A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.”

18. “Xx, and then they said, “Don’t make a mess; if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.””

19. “People have a hard time letting go because they don’t think they’ll ever find something that special again.”

20. “And I tried to buy your pretty heart, but the price was too high.”

Witty Sayings About Life

21. “Always speak how you feel, and never be sorry for being real! 00”

22. “I relate to the phrase “chillin like a villain,” which implies that I’m calm but ready to murder at any time.”

23. “Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, Call me; I’ll laugh at you.”

24. “I can’t hear you.”

25. “I am not weird. I am a limited edition.”

Very Funny Quotes About Life

26. “I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.”

27. “My body knows how old I am, but my mind refuses to believe it.”

28. “Mini, midi, maxi… I grew weary of the entire bloody affair.”

29. “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”

30. “This is a test to see if you can read this all the way down to here.”

Funny About Life Quotes

31. “If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”

32. “I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly… she’s not your friend anymore.”

33. “If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.”

34. “If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape.”

35. “Revenge” sounds so mean; that’s why I prefer to call it “returning the favor.”

Famous Funny Quotes About Life

36. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”

37. “If lying were a job, I know some people who would be billionaires.”

38. “Witty quote: “She wears short skirts.” I eat pizza; she’s cheer captain, and I’m still eating pizza. –Laaurenn”

Funny Memes and Images

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Cute love quotes about life “Love is an intense feeling of strong affection and attachment. A good sense of humor is an easy way to improve your love life. Here are some cute and hilarious quotes on love, which you can share with your special someone, and have a laugh together.

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