Best Quotes Funny Life Extremely Astonishing The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep! Looking for funny inspirational quotes about life? Here are our favorite funny motivational quotes about life, work, and becoming successful.
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely anymore. Here is the collection of the best funny quotes and funny sayings, Photo Credits Pinterest
Never lost Never Won
you Got This
It Is Going To Be an Epic
Keep Calm And You Can
Don’t Be Sad
Awesome Bubble Allowed Inside
Funny Quotes
- Practice as you’ve never won. Perform as if you’ve never lost.
- Just speed up a bit you got this. You got this.
- Just before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation is going to be epic!
- I will not keep calm and you can go fuck yourself
- Don’t be sad, because sad backward is das, and das not good.
- No issues today. I’m in my awesome bubble and you’re not allowed inside!
- Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
- “If you have been brutally broken but still dare to be gentle to other living beings, then you’re a badass with a heart of an angel.” – Keanu reeves
- Some days I amaze myself. On other days I look for my phone while I’m talking on it.
- As I have grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ve got five fingers and the middle one’s for you.
- I’m not funny I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.
- I will murder everything you love.
- There’s a fine line between genius & crazy… I like to use that line as a jump rope.
Extremely Funny Quotes
- I wish my book of life was written in pencil … There are a few pages I would like to erase.
- The best things in life either make you fat, drunk, or pregnant.
- One look at my dog and my day go from good to great!
- Let me check my giveashitometer. Nope, nothing!
- Life is going to get hard sometimes. Get the fuck up and get your shit together. You are either an ocean or a puddle. Don’t be a puddle. People walk through puddles like they’re nothing. Oceans fucking destroy cities.
- Rules when I first wake up: 1. Everyone shut the hell up 2. get out of my way 3. don’t ask me any damn questions
- Hold on, I’ve gotta overthink it.
- I know the voices in my head aren’t real… But sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
- As soon as I wake up, I check my phone, hoping there’s a message from you.
- Life is a soup and I’m a fork.
- I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.
Funny Crazy Quotes
- Admit it. Life would be boring without me.
- My boss told me to have a good day… So I went home.
- I know I’m not skinny but I’m not fat either. I’m just in that awkward middle where I have a double chin when I’m texting.
- I’m not old I woke up, I lifted my arms, I moved my knees, I turned my neck… Everything made the same noise: ‘crrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaacccccccccck!’ I concluded: I am not old, I am crispy!
- I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you.
- If you’re arguing with a woman and she says “wow”… run.
- Another wine bottle with no genie at the bottom. I’ll keep looking.
- The awkward moment when you’ve already said ‘what?’ 3 Times and still have no idea what the other person said, so you just agree!
- I love the sound you make when you shut up.
- Careful. If you think too much they’ll take you away.
- What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically speaking, more powerful.
Funny Quotes About Life Lessons
- What if gordon ramsay voiced a GPS? “Great job, you missed the bloody exit you fu**ing disgrace.
- To be honest, I’m just winging it. Life, motherhood, my eyeliner. Everything.
- I am who I am. I’m weird, I run into things, I spill food, I trip, and I laugh about random and stupid stuff. But I like it that way.
- My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
- I know the voices aren’t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
- You are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel. Remember that.
- A perfect metaphor for my life would be “someone trying to stand up in a hammock”
- Begin each day with a grateful heart.
- If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while, it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.
- Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
Funny Quotes About Me
- Embrace the glorious mess that you are.” Elizabeth gilbert
- I wish I were a little kid so I could take a long nap and everyone would just be proud of me.
- True words how to succeed in life? Talk – softly; eat – sensibly; breath – deeply; sleep – sufficiently; dress – smartly; act fearlessly; work – patiently; think – creatively; behave decently; earn honestly; save regularly; spend – intelligently.
- My doctor told me to start killing people. Gapbagap.com well not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing.
- Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
- My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.
- I know right from wrong is the fun one.
- “Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.” Winston Churchill
- I take super hot showers to practice burning in hell.
- I am thankful for all those difficult people in my life, they have shown me exactly who I do not want to be.
Funny Quotes About Life Struggles
- I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I’m going to be today.
- I admit that my level of weirdness is above the national average, but I’m comfortable with that.
- I liked it. So it’s mine
- Me: I’m finally happy. Life: lol, wait a sec.
- Stop petting my peeves.
- I look back on my life and I’m extremely impressed that I’m still alive
- I just want to spend the rest of my life laughing.
- Dear teenagers, your mom may annoy you now, but there was a time you loved. Her so much you. Begged to watch her poop. Remember that. Xo, parents.
- My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.
- When something goes wrong in your life. Just yell “plot twist!” And move on
- Don’t judge me cause I’m quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.
- Having a dirty mind makes ordinary conversations much more interesting.
- I’m going to retire and live off my savings. What I’ll do on the second day, I have no idea.
Very Short Funny Quotes About Life
- Taking naps sounds so childish. I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses.
- My mother always told me if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all… And some people wonder why I’m so quiet around them.
- You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.
- My great-grandma started giggling at a barbecue and when I asked what was funny, she said “everyone here is alive because I got laid”
- Today’s special is to buy one beer for the price of two and receive a second beer free. What a deal!
- I don’t have a bucket list but my bucket list is a mile long.
- Never ignore a person who loves and cares for you, cause one day you may realize that you’ve lost the moon while counting the stars.
- You are either on my side, by my side, or in my fucking way choose wisely.
- Of course, life is a bitch. If it was a slut, it would be easy.
- Real friends don’t get offended when you call them bad names. They smile and call you something more offensive.
Funny Images and Quotes
You Still Have Teeth
Cute funny quotes about life “Sorry I didn’t pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone.”
Heart Of Angel
I Look For My Phone
Piece Of Cake
Got Five Fingers
Not Funny People Think
Everything You Love
Best Quotes Funny Life “The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.
I Would Like To Erase
The Best Things
One Look At My Dog
Let Me Check My
Minecraft In Real Life
Life Is Going To Get
Rules When I First Wake Up
Best Quotes Funny Life sayings “Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life’s decisions.
Overthink About It
I Know The Voice In My Hear
As Soon As My Wake Up
Life Is Soup
I’m Just A Girl
Admit It Life Would Be
My boss Told Me too
Best Quotes Funny Life Don’t give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.
I Know I’m Not Skinny
I’m Not Old I Woke Up
I’m Not Insulting You
If You’re Arguing Run
Another Wine Bottle I Will Keep Looking
So You Just Agree
I Love You Shut Up
Best Quotes Funny Life My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.
Ok I’ll Take Away
Queen More Powerful In Chess
Great Job You Missed
I’m Just Winging It
Random And Stupid My Way
The Level Of Sarcasm
Come Up With Great Ideas All time
Good Quotes Funny Life Life is not about how you survive the storm, it’s about how you dance in the rain.
Remember That
Some One Trying To Stand Up
The Grateful Heart
You Are Alone Anymore
A Club And A Spade
The Glorious Mess
Just Be Proud Of Me
Cool Quotes About Funny Life Sayings “Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.
How To Succeed In Life?
How To Reduce Stress In Life?
Why do You fall In Love?
My Life is Always Serious Awkward
I know Right From Wrong
Go To Hell Look Forward
To Practice Is a Must For Everything
short funny quotes “My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
I Do Not Want To Be
I’m Going To Be Today
Admit Comfortable With it
So It’s Mine
Happy Life LoL
Don’t Stop
I’m Still Value Extremely impressed
Funny quotes with pictures “I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor.
My Life Laughing
So Much You Remember That
My Life Feels Very Good
And Move on
Don’t Judge Me
Much More Interesting
I’m Going To Retire, No Idea
Funny inspirational life quotes All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.
I Prefer To Call
My Mother Always Told Me
You’re The Reason
Everyone Here Is Alive
Buy One Beer But…
My Bucket list
Never Ignore The Person
Funny quotes about life lessons The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
My Side Choose Wisely
It Would be Easy
Real Friends Don’t Get mad
Just Need
Don’t Take life
So Fxxk Them
Asked For Your opinion.
