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70 Funny Things That Escalated WAY Too Quickly

Laughter is a social superpower. Need some hilarious things to say via text or IRL? Check out these 70 one-liners for extra funniness! Make everyone around you LOL when you bust out one of these 70 funny things to say. From funny comments to random stuff to make friends laugh, this list of funny stuff has you covered.

Top 56 Funny Things That Escalated WAY Too Quickly,

  • “No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.” —Abraham Lincoln
  • “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” —Margaret Mead
  • Real friends pick us up when we’re down. But friends like you lie on the floor with us and laugh our butts off together.
  • If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.
  • Love must truly be blind because it can’t see me at all.
  • I’ve always thought air was free. That is, I did until I went out and bought a $3 bag of chips.

56 Funny Things That Escalated WAY Too Quickly

  • You call me your best friend, but where the heck were you when my selfie only got 4 likes?
  • You’re such a good friend that I’d be willing to give you money. Here, take these $1,000,000 bucks!
  • Try this: Walk to the line for the nearest public bathroom and ask, “So, they fixed this one? Thank God! I just changed into some dry clothes.”
  • Try this: Before you leave a room, say, “I bid you farewell!
  • If you suddenly die, I’d immediately travel around the world to search for the seven dragon balls.
  • Try this: When you shake someone’s hand, jokingly say, “I’m so glad you had the privilege of meeting me”.
  • You are not someone I pretend not to see in public.

Funny Things

“1. Before coffee, I’m a hot mess. After? I’m a wide awake hot mess. So there’s that.”

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“2. Don’t let someone who has done nothing tell you how to do anything. ”

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“3. One day or day one. You decide.”

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“4. Now you understand why peter pan didn’t want to grow up.”

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“5. Forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you”

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“6. What you allow is what will continue”

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“7. The person who tries to keep everyone happy often ends up feeling the loneliest.”

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“8. I focused so hard on what I wanted that I lost sight of what I deserved.”

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“9. When god pushes you to the edge of difficulty trust him fully because two things can happen either he’ll catch you when you fall, or he will teach you how to fly”

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“10. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.”

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“11. The people who know the least about you always have the most to say.”

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“12. Things to know about life “No” is a complete sentence . It does not require justification or explanation.”

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“13. Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”

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“14. Sometimes you have to love people from a distance and give them the space and time to get their minds right before you let them back into your life.”

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“15. Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, they’re behind you for a reason.”

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Funny Things To Make You Laugh

“16. When you are a giraffe and you receive criticism from turtles, they are reporting the view from the level they are on.”

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“17. The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”

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“18. Math Mental Abuse To Humans.”

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“19. The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”

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“20. Complaint department please take a number 1”

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“21. My mom said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed!”

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“22. There will always be people in your life who treat you wrong. Be sure to thank them for making you strong.”

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“23. The best revenge is massive success.”

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“24. Accept what is, let go of what was, have faith in what will be.”

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Funny Things To Say To Your Girlfriend

“25. My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage.”

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“26. The funny thing about a strong woman is that she doesn’t need you she wants you and if you start slacking she’ll be content without you”

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“27. It’s a man’s job to respect women, but it’s a woman’s job to give him something to respect.”

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“28. I love straightforward people. The lack of drama makes life so much easier.”

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“29. Menstruation menopause mental breakdowns notice how all women’s problems begin with men.”

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“30. I always mean what I say… …I may not always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.”

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“31. Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.”

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“32. I am who I am. I’m weird, I’m lame, I run into things, I spill food, I trip, I scream about random & stupid stuff. But, I like it that way.”

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“33. Expect nothing & appreciate everything”

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“34. When life knocks you down, stand the fuck up & say, “you hit like a bitch.”

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“35. The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.”

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“36. I don’t have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.”

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“37. Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask why you’re still married.”

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Funny Things To Do In Public

“38. Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.”

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“39. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step.”

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“40. Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.”

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“41. Rumors are carried by haters spreaded by fools & accepted by idiots..”

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“42. Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked into your life, said “I’m here for you” and proved it.”

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“43. The world can be amazing when you’re slightly strange”

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“44. Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching.”

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“45. Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”

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“46. When thinking about life, remember this: no amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future.”

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“47. Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it.”

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“48. I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.”

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“49. Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.”

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Funny Things To Ask Siri

“50. 99% of my socks are single and you don’t see them crying about it.”

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“51. When something goes wrong in your life, just yell, “plot twist!” and move on.”

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“52. Prove them wrong.”

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“53. I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me… Now I look around and wonder if I like them”

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“54. When I talk to managers, I get the feeling that they are important. When I talk to leaders, I get the feeling that I am important.”

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“55. Don’t wait for opportunity. Create it.”

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“56. Only dead fish go with the flow.”

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Laughter is known as the best medicine for a reason. It releases oxytocin, which can trigger all sorts of bonding responses in the human body. Try these funny comments with your friends. Laughter is scientifically proven to bring people together, make you more likable, and help people feel more comfortable opening up. However, it’s crucial to strike a balance between lightheartedness and being appropriate.

The best quotes about funny are always hard to swallow. Sometimes funny things are very awesome. haha… hahaa… moments are very rare in your daily life so we collected some for you. These quotes are funny, girlfriends and public. Photo credits pinterest

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