115 Funny Valentine’s Day Messages, Wishes and Quotes

Funny Valentines Day Messages Wishes and Quotes | valentine joke messages, happy valentines day friend funny, valentines day quotes funny

Funny Valentine’s Day Message: It is hard to determine what you should include in a sentimental Valentine’s Day message to your other half. You can remind her or him of a moment in your relationship and say why you cherish the memory. Through all the hardships, they stood by your side as a friend and a lover. Finish it off with a sincere promise to love them with all your heart.

The Valentine’s Day celebration was first introduced by the Romans to commemorate the death of Saint Valentine. Despite it being a death commemoration, it has somehow become a day for lovers since the eighteenth century. These days, lovers all around the world celebrate it by giving out gifts and flowers to their lovers, which usually come with Valentine’s Day card messages as well!

There are ways to celebrate the day; one of them is by getting the appropriate gifts for your loved ones. Gifts are just one aspect of making Valentine’s Day meaningful. So, what are the others?

You can show your humorous side by combining these funny Valentine’s Day messages with a short wish for the man that you love. These witty sayings will give him a good laugh, but they do not stray away from the spirit of Valentine’s Day at all. So instead of getting stuck with the old-school romantic wishes, try something new this year with these humourous messages about love.

When we kiss, I feel excitement like the thrill of a roller coaster, the sky filled with fireworks on the Fourth of July, or the rush of a waterfall. Happy Valentine’s Day, and thank you for making life an adventure!

Funny Valentine Day Messages

1. Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. – George Burns

2. True love comes quietly without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. – Erich Segal

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funny valentine wishes for singles

3. Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. – Joan Crawford

4. Celebrating Valentine’s Day looks great in movies. But in real life, it’s just horrible and costly. Try buying a bouquet and you’ll know!

5. May God fills your heart with love and your wallet with money so you can buy some chocolates for your honey! Happy valentine’s day!

6. Valentine’s day is one day to stay committed to one person and the other days are for other persons.

7. May God fills your heart with love and your wallet with money so you can buy some chocolates for your honey! Happy valentine’s day!

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funny valentine quotes for gf and bf

8. I was single and sad. And then I met you and realized being single was not so bad. Just kidding! Happy valentine’s day, my love!

9. I love you so much. But what’s your name?? LOL. Happy Valentine Day, baby.

Funny Valentine’s Day Messages for Friends

11. You do not need flowers to smell sweet, and you don’t need jewelry to look beautiful. And, you don’t need a special Valentine’s Day to be loved either!

12. I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.

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funny valentine quotes for wife and husband

13. I like the way you chew my mind like a bar of chocolate. It’s just a matter of days before I become brain dead because of your love!

14. Celebrating Valentine’s Day looks great in movies. But in real life, it’s just horrible and costly. Try buying a bouquet and you’ll know!

15. Happy Valentine’s Day to my huggy bear from your kissy face. Love you!

16. You are my favorite dish that I love to eat daily. Wishing you the most romantic day. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Funny Valentine Messages For Him

18. You are my bae, my one and only, my sweetie, my superhero, my knight in shining armor, and of course, my Valentine.

19. From random laughs to random kisses, our love has put me in a blissful state of randomness that I never want to come out of. I love you.

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funny valentine messages for friends

20. There are a few things that I can’t wait to rip their clothes off when I get married, one is you and two is you. ? I love you so much, darling. Happy Valentine’s Day.

21. Happy Valentine’s Day my dear love, I’m glad you could finally love me, now I can die in peace and I hope we die together ?. But let’s enjoy today first.

22. Happy Valentine’s day. This valentine, I hope you’ll stop getting on my nerves.

Funny Valentine Messages For Her

24. You can’t celebrate love in just one day, and you cannot define love in one word! That is precisely why I haven’t made any plans with you this Valentine’s Day!

25. I love hanging out with you on all days except Valentine’s Day. The rapid departure of my pocket money burns my heart and soul so badly. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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funny valentine messages card sayings

26. Chocolates aren’t enough to fill your huge appetite, so I’ll buy you dinner instead; I hope you say yes to going out with me on valentine.

27. Valentine’s Day meant nothing to me before you, it’s still means nothing. But I love you anyway.

28. A man’s main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month.

29. I love you a little s’more every day. You are lip-smackin’ sweetness, Valentine!

Funny Valentine Wishes for Singles

31. Roses are red, being fit is great, I would have gotten you chocolates, my love, but you need to lose a bit of weight. Happy Valentine’s Day!

32. My beloved husband, you are my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But you better don’t disappear when I get too close to you!!! Happy Valentine’s Day!

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cute funny valentine messages and quotes

33. All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

34. I love you as I love to drink soft drinks. Happy Valentine’s day.

35. You are my wife, my commander in chief, and sometimes my mother. You scare me but in the best way, I could be scared. Happy Valentine’s Day my beautiful wife!

Funny Valentines Day Text

37. Every warm-blooded man would agree – the 14th of Feb should be celebrated in a fiscally conservative way, but not a sexually conservative one. Happy Valentine’s Day!

38. Love just doesn’t grow on trees like apples – it is something you have to work for. And you need to use your imagination as well. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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best funny valentines day messages for friends

39. I don’t mind being a security guard while you’re dating as long as you’re paying for me being drunk & grabbing some hookers from the club.

40. Whatever you do, don’t commit yourself. You’ll be dead long before your death. Happy valentine’s day!

41. Love is just like a fart. If you push it, it will be crap. Happy valentine’s day, my friend!

Funny Valentines Day Quotes

43. “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Emily Brontë

44. “Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold.” – Zelda Fitzgerald

45. Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I skinned my knee when I fell for you. —Anonymous

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short funny valentines day card messages

46. I’m yours, no refunds. —Anonymous

47. You’re the peanut butter to my jelly. —Anonymous

48. There is no one I’d rather lie in bed and look at my phone next to. —Anonymous

Funny Valentine Quotes for GF and BF

50. Valentine’s day is the “D” day to tell you those special three words – let’s sleep in!

51. If I could, I definitely would gather up all my love for you and put it all in a gift box. But alas! They don’t make boxes big enough for that! Happy Valentine’s Day!

52. You may not have someone to love but at least your pocket is safe & secure. Enjoy your life man! I’ve started to envy you already!

53. They say love is a stupid feeling, then I guess I am a fool, a fool in love with the most beautiful woman in my eyes! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Funny Valentine Quotes For Wife and Husband

55. Happy Valentine’s Day To My Amazing Parents. You make love look so easy. I’m glad to be the daughter of two people who’ve always been so in love.

56. Happy Valentine’s Day Sister! Wishing you a day filled with love and surprises-you deserve it! I love you a lot, always and forever.

57. Happy Valentine’s Day my love. Do not follow the masses who said you shouldn’t marry a man like me, they all want to marry me secretly, but I refused them. Stick with me, my love.

58. Every man would agree that the 14th of February should be celebrated in a fiscally but not sexually conservative way.

59. Your little arms make me feel like the strongest man in the world, that is why I will always protect you my valentine. I love you, darling!

60. I donut know what I’d do without you. I don’t want to know. Love you, Sweetie!

Best Funny Valentine’s Day Images With Quotes

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short funny valentine day texts
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Is this not the most adorable tiny infant kid armed with a bow and arrow? No one could have predicted that.

Most women are looking for someone who makes them laugh while also making them feel comfortable. To put it another way, he’s a ninja clown.

Although the roses are red and your fitness is excellent, I would have given you chocolate instead, but you need to shed some weight.

It is difficult to be both smart and a lover at the same time while also loving you unconditionally. Happy Valentine’s Day to you, my darling!

If love is blind, then why is lingerie so widely used and popular?

Cute And Funny Valentine’s Day Captions

You told me before we started dating that you didn’t have time to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Well, I’ve just discovered that you were telling the truth about it. In any case, happy Valentine’s Day!

For me, the ideal way to celebrate Valentine’s Day is to spend it with the person who has always been my true love: food. I’d like to wish you a very happy Valentine’s Day!

My beloved and my friend, you are the lady I think about daily for reasons I don’t understand, but I suspect it has something to do with love. I’ll always be in love with you. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

best valentine's day wishes to write
best valentine’s day wishes to write

I’ve made my way back to your heart the way a stray dog finds its way back to its owner’s heart. Thank you for allowing me to come in regularly. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Grandma, your hugs are the most wonderful thing! On-the-spot preparation, produced from scratch. I hope Grandma has a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

May all of the love you’ve sent out into the world come back to slap you in the best manner possible. Mom, have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

Short Funny Valentine Quotes

Valentine, I’d compare you to the most expensive wines and caviar in the world, but I don’t care for any of those things.

Love is a cigar that we voluntarily light up and explode.

What if I told you that you fascinate me more when you clean up all the dishes than when you complain about not being able to have a candlelit supper on Valentine’s Day?

cute and funny valentine's day captions
cute and funny valentine’s day captions

Orange, are you pleased we finally met? You make my knees weak with your lovely squeezes.

On Valentine’s Day, it might be unpleasant to be alone, but arming oneself with chocolate, the television, and a vivid recollection of your worst date can make the experience a little easier. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Normally, I would answer that you are my favorite part of Valentine’s Day, but then I recall that chocolates are also available. As a result, you are the second-best thing about Valentine’s Day after chocolate.

Funny Valentine Quotes

People who kiss each other are hopelessly sluggish.

Love is a termite, and I am hollow within as I bask in the heat of your affection. I’d like to wish you a very happy Valentine’s Day.

Do you remember the extremely famous phrase that Saint Valentine gave just before he passed away? -Formalized paraphrase He said, “Don’t spend money on a cow when you can get milk for free!”

funny one liners for valentine's day
funny one liners for valentine’s day

It’s always a mystery to me how the least bright guy in his buddy group manages to attract the most attractive female in the class. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

The postman, who will deliver you love letters from your crushes, is someone I will never be able to compete with, but I won’t have to on Valentine’s Day because I am the postman, and I will bring you the love letters.

You don’t need a Valentine to spend time with on Valentine’s Day, just like you don’t need HIV on AIDS Day.

Unlike the toilet paper, my love for you will never run out. Happy Valentine’s Day Forever!

Funny Valentine Quotes For Singles

A date with you? No thanks, I would rather have an apple by myself alone. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Valentine’s Day is one of my least favorite holidays because it makes me feel lonely and alienated from the rest of the world. The memes, on the other hand, are entertaining. So please continue to send them my way!

funny valentine quotes for friends
funny valentine quotes for friends

I’m overjoyed to be the love of your life. You’re the second creature to fall head over heels in love with me. The first was a mosquito, and the second was none other than my mother. hahaha. Happy Valentine’s Day to you, my love.

This was my goal from the moment I laid eyes on you, and on this Valentine’s Day, my frog, I finally succeeded in transforming you into a prince. I’m madly in love with you!

The four most crucial words in each marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes.” These are the most critical phrases in any marriage.

The heart has its own set of arguments, which reason is completely unaware of.

Funny One-Liners For Valentine’s Day

One amusing aspect of Valentine’s Day is that, after all of the excitement, there remains the prospect of a wailing infant in the cradle to end the day. Make the most of your time.

My darling, I believe that today will be a wonderful day for us to spend together. Just remember to set aside some time for teeth cleaning as well. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

funny valentine quotes for singles
funny valentine quotes for singles

Let us commemorate the early demise of all men by encouraging love in the same way that Saint Valentine did before his tragic demise today.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that money cannot buy love, but it can buy a lot of it. I’ll make a lot of money and receive a lot of affection from you. My sweetheart, I wish you a happy Valentine’s Day.

I was planning on stuffing all of my feelings for you into your Valentine’s Day card. However, it was akin to attempting to squeeze into your slim pants the day after Thanksgiving dinner. Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, Peyton!

Valentine’s Day Quotes Short

Today, I’d like to find out whether you’re going to propose to me. What if we flipped a coin? If it lands on the head, we have each other. If it lands on the tail, we have each other. It’s a reasonable arrangement. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

Anyone can be passionate, but only true lovers can be ridiculous.

As an engineer, I would want to construct a staircase leading to my heart for you. It will be a long and arduous journey, and I hope you will not give up on it this Valentine’s Day. I’m madly in love with you.

funny valentine quotes jojo
funny valentine quotes jojo

There are around 3 billion guys on our planet. You chose to remain with me out of all of them, although I am physically unattractive. You’re a fortunate woman. hahaha. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

If you do happen to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at you first and then pull you back up, but I can’t help but fall more in love with you every time I see you. Valentine’s Day greetings from the heart!

Being married is a wonderful experience for me. It’s a wonderful feeling when you find that one individual whom you want to irritate for the rest of your life.

Funny Valentine Quotes For Friends

You are the biggest, most enormous person I have ever met, and I am simply speaking about your heart when I say this. Happy Valentine’s Day to you, my love. You’ll always be my Valentine.

Congratulations on your engagement, my wonderful girlfriend. I truly want to marry you, but I’ve heard marriage causes individuals lose their passion for each other. Let’s not get married then, but I’ll always be yours. Take advantage of this opportunity.

funny valentine's day quotes and images
funny valentine’s day quotes and images

Although I am terrified of heights, I would climb the tallest mountain simply to express my feelings for you, only to break down and cry afterward. My Valentine, I adore you!

You could be changing the diapers of our children the next Valentine’s Day, so make the most of this year’s Valentine’s Day!

Valentine, if you’ll agree to be mine, my heart will be filled with joy! If we consume Mexican food, it will be accompanied by a section of people who are tooting.

Best Valentine’s Day Wishes To Write

My sweetheart, I wish you a happy Valentine’s Day. Avoid following the herd when it comes to marrying a man like me; they are all trying to marry me in secret, but I have denied them all. Please, my darling, bear with me.

Even the most conservative of men would agree that the 14th of February should be commemorated in an economically conservative manner but not in a sexually conservative manner.

That is why I will always defend you, my Valentine since your small arms make me feel like the strongest man on the face of the planet. I’m madly in love with you, sweetie!

short funny valentine quotes
short funny valentine quotes

The 14th of February is Saint Valentine’s Day, which is celebrated today. Women refer to it as “Love Day,” whilst males refer to it as “Extortion Day.”

I am the one thing in your life that you will never be able to keep hidden. However, I am well aware of the fact that you are playing with my heart. Wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day.

I’m not sure what I’d do if you weren’t here. I’m not interested in finding out. Sweetie, I adore you!

Valentine, I’m sending you to love that is completely pure and organic! Hugs and kisses from those who know where they’re from will follow.

Best Valentine’s Day Wishes

For the moment, I adore you so much that I would gladly steal the moon for you, but for the time being, I’ll settle for stealing chocolates from you. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

There are no assurances in marriage. If that’s what you’re looking for, you should consider living off of a vehicle battery instead.

I contacted the authorities to have you arrested. Your crime has stolen my heart and taken away my ability to breathe. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

I make every effort to put my best foot forward to fix all of the difficulties that have arisen between us. However, it was all in vain. Because you are a complete and utter moron. In any case, have a wonderful Valentine’s Day.

I don’t mind serving as a security guard while you’re dating, as long as you’re willing to reimburse me for the time I spend getting wasted and stealing some hookers from the club.

If you are unable to purchase happiness with money, consider purchasing Valentine’s Day present for me. It’ll work like magic, I’m sure of it. Yes, I can give you my word for it!

As if we were driving a car with no brakes, our love is just uncontrollable. I’ll adore you till the last drop of gas leaves my tank. Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, my darling; you are cherished!

valentine's day quotes short
valentine’s day quotes short

You are the delicious cherry on top of my ice cream. I want this ice cream to never melt. Have a romantic Valentine’s Day.

After losing interest in his automobile for a few days, a man realizes he is head over heels in love.

It is my job to love you, and every job holder requires motivation to perform their duties. Is it possible to have some inspiration tonight? Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

It is the beginning of a lifetime relationship when one learns to love oneself. I wish you a very happy Valentine’s Day!

Because I am still single, I will be celebrating Independence Day. Dear Friends, I wish you a happy Valentine’s Day.

I adore you even more than… even more than…It would appear that I adore you even more than that.

Valentine’s Day Quotes

I’m sure you’ll put on your chocolate-stamped smile today, but I won’t have any chocolates for you, my darling; all I’ll have is a heart that will always be faithful to you and your needs. My Valentine, you have my heartfelt affection.

If you shatter my heart, I will break every bone in your body as well. So never, ever try to deceive me. I’m madly in love with you. I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day.

If this Valentine could communicate, it would say, “Get me out of this envelope!”

And then it would say, “Grandma is very fond of you!

Wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day, Sammy!

The capability of the human intellect is infinite. Even a loser may concoct a fictitious Valentine for himself whenever he wants. Then, my buddy, what is it that makes you so depressed?

You are my genuine love, my life’s passion, the one for whom I live, and you are constantly in the glare of my eyes. I will never stop loving you. Is it you, by any chance? Without a doubt, this is not the case! My BMW, of course! I’m planning to spend Valentine’s Day with her this year now.

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and I wish I could put all of my feelings for you in a box and send them to you as a present. However, I was unable to mail it since there isn’t a large enough box to accommodate all of my affection for you.

All I need is love, although now and then, a little chocolate doesn’t hurt, especially on Valentine’s Day! I’m only giving you a glimmer of what I’m looking for. I adore you!

There are an inordinate number of people in the world who are devoid of love. Let’s have some fun tonight and make some love. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Someday, changing diapers together will be the most enjoyable part of our day, but it won’t matter since I know our children will have your gorgeous eyes as well. Happy Valentine’s Day, my sweetheart!

You’ve stolen a slice of pizza from my heart! You’re a sassy little thing.

Love is not something that grows on trees like apples in Eden; it is something that must be created. It would also be beneficial if you utilize your creativity as well.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you, my darling. Can you assist me in finding the most affordable supper option for the two of us tonight? That is something I will be eternally thankful to you for!

I wish you a very happy Valentine’s Day from the bottom of my heart, lungs, liver, and spleen…

Valentine’s Day Messages

Because we’re separated today, I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day apart from me. But not with another man, under any circumstances. You don’t want to find out what I’m about to do? My sweetheart, I wish you a happy Valentine’s Day.

We slew the dating game, and now it’s time to slay the married world. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

I want to be the reason you smile when you glance down at your phone and see my name on there. After that, walk into a pole.

You are my sugar crush, and I like playing with you regularly. Wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day.

Nobody will ever win the war of the sexes. It is an unwinnable conflict. There is an excessive amount of socializing with the adversary.

People falling in love are not the result of gravity’s pull on them.

Love is said to be blind, but I do not believe this to be the case.

I adore you more than my bathroom slippers could ever imagine. Wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day.

After learning about all of your bizarre behaviors, no one will be able to love you as much as I do. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

As strange as I am, you are just as strange as me. As a result, we form an ideal couple. Greetings, my crazy one, on Valentine’s Day!

When I was younger, I often wondered what it would be like to spend Valentine’s Day with the most amazing person on the planet. Now I’ll be able to find out. So, how does it feel to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your husband?

Let’s assume that we’re one of the most amazing couples on the face of the planet. On other days, no one will pay attention to us.

Valentine’s Day is the ideal occasion to say those three magical words to your significant other: “Let’s go naked!

You and my cat are both quite adorable. Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

fUNNY Valentine’s Day Wishes

Make a prospective spouse use a computer with poor internet connectivity to get a better understanding of who they are before you marry them.

Let’s imagine for a day that we are infatuated with one another beyond all other things. For the next 364 days, we can stay away from one another!

Some folks can make your heart skip a beat. You can make my heart skip a beat! Best. Valentine’s ever.

If you’re feeling down because you’re alone on Valentine’s Day, remember that no one loves you on any of the other 355 days of the year, either.

If you don’t have anybody to spend Valentine’s Day with, don’t be depressed. Just remember that you’re not alone in your feelings.

True love arrives in the background, without the need for banners or bright lights. If you hear bells, you should have your hearing examined.

What does your heart long to express? We have some recommendations, or perhaps our words can serve as a starting point for your well of words. Take a look at this!

In my opinion, an archaeologist is an ideal husband a woman could ask for; the older she grows, the more he becomes interested in her.

Will you agree to be mine if I ask you to? Will you be my Valentine’s Day date? My best estimate is a giant bear embrace followed by the loveliest, “Yes!”

Valentine, you showered me with affection. weather that I enjoy. My love, I love you.

The question is, what gift will you offer to your right hand on Valentine’s Day?

I understand that you are not single; you are only waiting for something genuine to happen, which, regrettably, will never occur. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain depletes its reserves of energy.

You are my winter blanket, and I can’t sleep without you at my side. I’d like to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day.

Buy me some chocolates and flowers today, or you’ll be dining alone tonight. The decision is all up to you, sweetie. With affection, I wish you a happy Valentine’s Day!