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Top 79 Funny Minions Quotes and Funny Pictures

Top 79 Funny Minions Quotes and Funny Pictures “A relationship isn’t always 50/50. Some days a person will struggle. You suck it up and pick up that 80/20 cause they need you. That’s love. Here are the best funny minion quotes ever! Everyone loves minions and these hilarious minion quotes will put a smile on your face! See more ideas about minion quotes, minions funny, minions quotes.

looking for the cool minion’s quotes. Here is the best collection of 79+ funny quotes for you. “Idiots cause stress. Stress causes depression. Depression causes physical ailments. Conclusion: stupid people make me sick.” Photo Credits Pinterest

Funny Minions Quotes and Funny Pictures

Top Funny Minions Quotes

“1. If dentists make their money off people with bad teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 9 out of 10 dentists recommend?”

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“2. My diet plan: make all my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look.”

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“3. The awkward moment when you’ve already said ‘what?’ 3 times and still have no idea what the other person said, so you just agree!”

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“4. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow, somewhere else!”

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“5. I licked it, so it’s mine”

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“6. Some people are just like trees. They take forever to grow up.”

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“7. Warning: going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday. Please note that staying awake all night does not prevent Monday. There is no cure.”

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“8. If a clown farts does it smell funny?”

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“9. I’m not even on drugs, I’m just weird..”

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“10. So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out”

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“11. Not happy with your life, make some changes; things not going your way, change your directions; can’t find happiness in others, look within yourself.”

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“12. Daughter: What is marriage? Mom: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore….”

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“13. The nice part about living in a small town is that if you don’t know what you are doing, someone else does.”

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“14. I’m currently making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you’re one of them.”

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“15. Public toilet I was in the public toilets and had just sat down. A voice from the next cubicle said, “Hi!, how are you?” Embarrassed, I said, “I’m doing fine”. The voice said “So what are you up to?”. I said, “just doing the same as you, sitting here!” From next door, “Can I come over?” Annoyed, I said, “rather busy right now”. The voice said, “Listen, I will have to call you back, there’s an idiot next door answering all my questions.””

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“16. I really think that tossing and turning at night should be considered as exercise!”

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“17. Going on You Tube just to watch a quick music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe.”

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“18. Always trust your first gut instincts… if you genuinely feel in your heart and soul that something is wrong, it usually is”

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“19. You: Teacher! Teacher: Yes? You: Would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: of course not. You: I didn’t do my homework.”

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“20. I always wanted to win the lottery. But tonight I looked around at my beautiful family and realized I already have!”

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“21. My room is not a mess. It’s an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.”

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“22. A text from the right person can change your whole mood.”

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“23. Finding friends with the same mental disorder as you priceless!”

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“24. Whoever said the customer is always right has never worked with the public a day in their freaking life!”

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“25. My mom said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed!”

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“26. Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.”

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“27. I am multi talented! I can talk, annoy and irritate you all at the same time!”

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“28. I hate how chocolates immediately melt on my fingers. I mean, am I that hot?”

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“29. You are so fake, that even china denied they made you!”

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“30. Being able to respond with sarcasm within seconds of a stupid question is a sign of a healthy brain.”

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“31. No matter how big your house is, how recent your car is, or how big your bank account is. Our graves will always be the same size. Stay humble.”

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“32. It’s so damn cold outside. I just farted snowflakes.”

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“33. I had fun once. It was awful.”

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“34. Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.”

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“35. I’ve taken up photography because it’s the only hoppy where you can shoot people and cut their heads off without going to jail.”

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“36. Dear haters, I couldn’t help but notice that ‘Awesome’ ends with ‘Me’ and ‘Ugly’ starts with ‘U’”

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“37. Police: “you were going fast.” Me: “I was trying to keep up with traffic.” Police: “There isn’t any.” Me: “That’s how far behind I am.””

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“38. OMG, I have finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left..”

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“39. If being in my pajamas by 7pm is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.”

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“40. Innocent by nature naughty by choice”

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“41. If stress burned calories I’d be a super model…”

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“42. Have you ever wondered if the dollar bills in your purse or wallet were ever in a strippers butt crack? If not, you’re wondering now.”

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“43. Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.”

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“44. Family is not about blood. It’s about who is willing to hold your hand when you need it the most.”

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“45. In the end, people will judge you anyway, so don’t live your life impressing others. Live your life impressing yourself.”

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Funny Pictures

“46. At my age I’ve – seen it all – done it all – heard it all I just can’t remember it all!!”

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“47. Isn’t it funny how red, white & blue represent freedom…. Until they’re flashing behind you.”

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“48. Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you. So we’re even.”

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“49. Don’t lose hope. You never know what tomorrow will bring.”

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“50. When I am home alone, every noise I hear is a serial killer..”

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“51. Whoever is in charge of making sure I don’t get in trouble you’re fired!”

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“52. Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden!”

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“53. I have 3 sides. 1. The quiet and sweet side. 2. The fun and crazy side. 3. The side you never want to see.”

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“54. Start using your head. That’s the lump that’s three feet above your ass.”

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“55. In life, you will realize there is a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, some will love you, and some will teach you. But the ones who are truly important are the ones who bring out the best in you. They are the rare and amazing people who remind you why it’s worth it.”

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“56. My alone time is sometimes for your safety.. Don’t forget that.”

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“57. Sometimes, my greatest accomplishment…. Is just keeping my mouth shut!”

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“58. If nothing goes right go left.”

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“59. MIB minions in black”

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“60. I’m off to club bed featuring DJ pillow –and- MC blanky”

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“61. I am “wonder woman” I wonder where I left my keys, I wonder where I put my purse, I wonder where my money went.”

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“62. You know that little voice inside your head that keeps your from saying things you shouldn’t? yeah, I don’t have one of those. ”

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“63. Warning! To avoid injury stop telling me how to do my job.”

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“64. We will be best friends forever because you already know too much.”

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“65. As a kid I think I ate too many rice krispies. Now all my body does is snap crackle and pop!”

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“66. It’s so damn cold outside. I just farted snowflakes.”

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“67. Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.”

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“68. Picture only no message”

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“69. The tongue has no bones, but its strong enough to break a heart. So be careful with your words”

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“70. I’m so tired my tired is tired!”

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“71. It wasn’t a fart… my lower intestine blew you a kiss.”

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“72. Why periods? Why can’t mother nature just text me and be like, “whaddup girl?. You ain’t pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to ya next month.””

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“73. Next time a stranger talks to me when im alone I will look at them shocked and just
whisper quietly “you can see me?””

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“74. As a kid I think I ate too many rice krispies. Now all, my body does it snap crackle and pop!”

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“75. *Phone on silent*. 10 missed calls. *Turns volume to loudest*. Nobody calls all day.”

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“76. Admit it you’ve done one of these:

1) Walked into a room, forgot what you needed, walked out, and then remembered.
2) When you were younger, drew the sun in the corner of the paper
3) When you were little, thought the shape of a real heart was actually
4) Closed the fridge door really slow, just to see when the lights went off.
5) Tried to balance the light, between the on & off”

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“77. I eat cake because it is somebody’s birthday somewhere.”

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“78. Dealing with some people is like trying to nail jello to a wall.”

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Minions

To remember some of the most iconic moments from movies about Minions, I’ve collected 79 funny Minion quotes that are hilarious and cute.

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