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38 Fun Minion Quotes Of The Week

Very funny Minion Quotes and Funny images. Everyone loves minions and these hilarious minion quotes will put a smile on your face! This page is mad for when your having a bad day and just need something to laugh about.

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1. “Be good to your nieces and nephews one day you’ll need them to smuggle alcohol into your nursing home..”

2. “I need to go on medication, so I can slap stupid people and blame it on the side effects.”

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3. “I think you’re suffering from a lack of outlander”

4. “I need a 6 month vacation twice a year! Anyone else with me on this?”

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5. “I feel like I should clean the house, so I’m going to lay down and nap until that feeling passes.”

6. “Just spent 15 minutes searching for my phone in my car. Using my phone as a flashlight.”

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7. “Admit it you’ve done one of these: 1) Walked into a room, forgot what you needed, walked out, and then remembered. 2) When you were younger, drew the sun in the corner of the paper 3) When you were little, thought the shape of a real heart was actually 4) Closed the fridge door really slow, just to see when the lights went off. 5) Tried to balance the light, between the on & off”

8. “Went to a shrink today. He says I have a split personality. Charged me 84.00. I paid him 42.00 And told him to get the rest from the other personality!”

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9. “Yes, I am a member of the CSI team can’t stand idiots.”

10. “I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at.”

Hilarious Minion Quotes From The Movie images | Hilarious Minion Memes

11. “This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.”

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12. “How normal people check their pen for ink how I check my pen for ink”

13. “When I see lover’s names carved in a tree. I don’t think its cute. I just think it’s crazy how many people bring knives on a date.”

14. “Alright… Who pushed the fast forward button on my weekend?”

15. “Disease: Idiotitis causes the brain shut down and the mouth to keep talking. Thousands affected. Might be contagious. Best defense: slap and run.”

16. “I would lose weight but I hate losing…”

17. “If pooping is a call of nature. Does that mean farting is a missed call?”

18. “It hurts when someone you love says mean things like “It’s time to wake up.””

19. “That moment when you can’t finish a sentence because you’re laughing so hard about the ending.”

20. “Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes, I need expert advice.”

Best Funny Minion Quotes Images | Hilarious Minion Memes

21. “Every family has one weird relative. If you don’t know who it is, then it’s probably you.”

22. “It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF”

23. “I wish I lived in a world where mosquitoes would suck fat instead of blood.”

24. “That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like, “I’ve got nothing man,””

25. “I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.”

26. “I hate how chocolates immediately melt on my fingers. I mean, am I that hot?”

27. “Checking your phone to see what time is it and then checking again because the first time you weren’t paying attention.”

28. “3 drunk guys enterd a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, “We have reached your destination”. The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said “Thank you”. The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked “What was that for?”. The 3rd guy replied, “Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!””

29. “Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think…. Oh shit it’s the cops!”

30. “People say I’m crazy. If they met the rest of my family they would understand why.”

Funny Minion Quotes Pictures | Hilarious Minion Memes

31. “Fact: Haters don’t really hate you. They hate themselves, because you are a reflection of what they wish to be.”

32. “When I call my parents, & they dont answer it’s no big deal but when they call me & I dont answer its like world war III.”

33. “I want to make my name on Facebook “Nobody” so when I see someone post something stupid, I can like it and it will say: “Nobody liked this””

34. “The first ever cordless phone was created by god. He named it “Prayer”… It never loses its signal and U never have to recharge it. Use it anywhere…!”

35. “Have you ever just looked at someone and said… “Seriously?””

36. “Current relationship status: 1. Single 2. Married 3. It’s complicated 4. In a relationship 5. hungry”

37. “Can you die from constipation? I’m a little worried with how full of shit some people are.”

38. “I watch people and wonder how some of them found their way out of the birth canal!”

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“Ok.. The bills are washed, the laundry is paid, clothes are in the oven & The last load of dinner is in the dryer. It looks like I got my to-do list finished!!”

“Heck yes, I’m a female. I push doors that clearly say pull. I laugh harder when I try to explain why I’m laughing. I walk into a room and forget why I was there. I count on my fingers. I hide the pain from my loved ones. I say it is a long story, when it really is not, just to get out of having to tell it. I cry a lot more than you think I do. I care about people who don’t care about me. I am strong because I have to be, not because I want to be. I listen to you, even when you don’t listen to me. And a hug will always help. Yes, I’m a female! Re-post if you’re proud to be one!”

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